So it is October 10, (although rather early), and today is World Mental Health Day.
We have our bad days for whatever reason, be it a fight with your partner, your boss decided to make you do overtime work without notice, or you got a shitty grade on your exams, but some people just can’t help but feel more under the weather more often, and sometimes for no explainable reason at all. These days are the toughest, and they can spring upon us without warning.
Society is becoming increasingly aware and accepting of mental health issues, which is great for us who must live with them. But so many sufferers still struggle to find the strength to accept their worth, even after many years of being followed by whatever cloud tries to swallow them. I’m going to share a little about my experience, and my personal opinions, words of wisdom (if you can call it that) and such. But just a preface, I’m not a qualified therapist, counsellor or anything; I’m just one sufferer speaking to other sufferers who may come across my humble little post :)
First off, I have depression, anxiety and social phobia to a degree. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 12 years old due to family issues and years of school bullying, and it just kinda hung around for a while…a long while…it’s still here more than 10 years later. Then at 15 I was diagnosed with anxiety after a traumatic experience in high school, (but I know it was around way before then), and will be here to stay for the long run. I’ve been through the ups and downs and diagonals, and wasted so many tears that I could’ve probably filled an Olympic sized swimming pool. I’ve been through a self-harm stage (thankfully that didn’t last long), but never wanted to die (I was terrified of death, and still am), tried to seek help through counsellors, psychiatrists, medication, and home remedies through my own research, but nothing has stuck. Maybe I haven’t found the right kind of recovery method, I’m not sure, still working on that. So for now I’m just living with it; I have my good days where I’m motivated, confident and bursting with happiness, then I have unexpected bad days where all I want to do is lay in bed and cry and be swallowed up by the earth (that’s where a good nap comes in handy!). I believe different types of treatment suit different people, so maybe one day I’ll find something that works.
The funny thing is, even though I’m struggling to recover from my own mental illness, I always want to help other sufferers, or even just people in general who lack confidence, by giving some words of encouragement. I guess that’s part of the depression thing, putting others’ needs before my own, but eh! It gives me a bit of a boost in the positive-department, which sounds like a win-win to me.
This year’s theme for World Mental Health Day is “Dignity in Mental Health”, so I’m just going to remind those of you who are in a similar position to myself, or even for those whose mental health issue is of a different kind, that you are always worthy, no matter what stage you’re at. I understand the struggle of just getting out of bed, as I’ve spent a good amount of time in the cosy haven of comfort and darkness. If you need a rest, take a rest and try again the next day. If you take a step backwards instead of forwards, don’t be too hard on yourself; just take a deep breath, do something to relax or take your mind off things, and try again later. Tomorrow is always a fresh start, so don’t punish yourself if you don’t accomplish something today. You don’t need to rush recovery, so take it one tiny step at a time.
You’re here, you’re alive and breathing, you’re doing well. Don’t give up!
You are worth the air you breathe just as much as the next person (well, some people don’t deserve to share our precious O2, but they’re ass-hats who should be buried, and you know exactly who they are, haha). Even if the road you’re travelling seems to be neverending, just keep plodding along, because even at a slow pace, you’ll get there. I’m still a sufferer, but I can do things I couldn’t do 10 years ago (eg. eating out in public or riding a bus). They’re small achievements, but they’re still just that: achievements. You are stronger than you think, because you’re holding on when the world feels like it’s ending (now that takes super guts!).
This journey may not be ideal, but you can always change your story, even if it takes time. Be kind to yourself, and remember your self worth. There are people who love you and you mean the world to them, so there’s some instant proof that you’re worthy and wanted. And if the world seems to be against you, I can almost guarantee that someone’s secretly thinking kind things about you, even if you're not. Understand that you are not alone, you are not crazy, you are not pathetic or worthless; you are fighting an unwanted battle. The people closest to you may not understand, but there are others out there who can help or just lend a shoulder to lean on (be it physical or virtual).
So, take time to take care of yourself and remember that you are worth every moment of every day; you are not a failure, you are strong and very capable. Bad days come, but they also go. Have a rest, make a cup of tea (or hot chocolate, mmmm~), watch some videos, or find a creative outlet (mine was always art, but maybe you like to write or bake?). Do something you enjoy, because you’re worth it! (Totally not affiliated with whatever makeup brand has that slogan…eep!)
I honestly believe we put too much pressure on ourselves, just because our brains are wired a little bit differently, or we happened to experience something more intense than the average human. It won’t hurt to take a break, take a day off, do whatever you need to do to help get yourself back up on your feet.
Okay, I think I’ve rambled on enough for now. Hopefully I have made some sort of positive impact on your day, and if not…come back tomorrow maybe? These words aren’t going anywhere and they won’t be any less true than they are as I’m writing now :3 And if you want someone to chat to, even about anything at all, shoot me a message! I’d be glad to talk, or even just listen (sometimes just blurting everything out to someone helps too, hehe).
I really hope your day is a good one xx
PS. I’ll put in a few resources below for you Aussie peeps who are looking to reach out or find some more info about mental health. These are just a few, but a quick Google search could also work too, just remember to include your country :)
Beyond Blue (Depression and anxiety info, forums, etc): http://www.beyondblue.org.au
Beyond Blue Support Hotline: 1300 224 636
Lifeline Australia (Info and support): http://www.lifeline.org.au
Lifeline Australia Hotline: 131 114
Kids Helpline (24 hour free counselling service for those under 25): 1800 551 800
Reachout (info, forums and support contacts): au.reachout.com
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